Peanut Oatmeal Breakfast Bars

Ugh, guys, remember when I entered this recipe contest? Well forget about it because I lost and we must never speak of this again.  True to my word, I will now retire from blogging.  Right after this recipe.  

It's not even that I'm particularly competitive.  I'm just a really terrible loser.  A terrible sore loser.  It's partly why I never played sports growing up.  The thought of losing was terrifying.  Winning didn't even cross my mind.  Just paralyzing fear of losing.  Also, I had zero aptitude for athletics.  Minor factor.    

My dear ol' dad was sure that at least ONE of this three daughters would excel in sports.  Just one of us.  But we did not.  My older sis briefly tried golf in high school (not really sure what that was about) but it ended pretty quickly.  May have been shortly after she broke my dad's hand with a golf swing.   I would occasionally toss a ball around with him when I was younger (I think he tried grooming me young) but then I jammed my pinky finger once and that was the end of that nonsense.  Then I pretty much stuck to dance and drama club from there on out.  Though I can say my dad enjoyed many a nap from the audience of my shows.     

And my little sis didn't even pretend to try sports.  I appreciate her honesty.  Point is, I don't like losing and I lost so I will now sulk for as long as I feel necessary.  So, if it pleases you, give these mildly sweet Peanut Oatmeal Breakfast Bars a try.  Or don't.  Or do.  Whatever guys.  I need to go dance my feelings out.  

Here's the recipe!

Peanut Oatmeal Breakfast Bars

Ingredients
2 cups rolled oats (not instant)
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 cup peanut butter
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/4 vegetable oil
1 egg
1 1/4 cup soy milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1 cup peanuts, roughly chopped
1 tablespoon ground flaxseed
1/3 cup sliced almonds

Directions
1.  Preheat oven to 375 and slightly spray a 9x13 pan with cooking spray.  Set aside.  
2.  Combine oats, flour, salt, and baking powder in a medium bowl and set aside.  In another medium bowl, stir together peanut butter, oil, egg, and vanilla extract.  Slowly add milk while gently whisking being careful to avoid splashing.  
3.  Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and stir with a rubber spatula to combine until there are no dry spots left.  Fold in peanuts and chocolate chips.  Pour batter into pan and spread into an even layer. Sprinkle the top with sliced almonds and flaxseed.  Press gently into batter to help adhere.  
4.  Bake for 18-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean or with only a few crumbs.  Allow to cool completely before slicing. 

**Note: These bars are very mildly sweet.  The sugar is almost undetectable and I'd classify them as "hearty."  If you craze more sweetness, adjust the sugar to your preferences.   

Enjoy!  

Recipe adapted from Big Girl Small Kitchen

Homemade Peanut Butter

This is real life everybody!  I took some peanuts and I butter-ized them.  With success!  It wasn't even a little bit hard.  It was actually a lot of bit easy.  

And then I proceeded to just eat it from a spoon nearly every day.  Like it's a socially acceptable snack to just eat some peanut butter (and maybe some chocolate chips) from a spoon in your pajamas on a Tuesday night.

This is one of those recipes I envision myself making big batches of and handing out in adorable mason jars to friends and family with handmade tags and colorful twine.  The reality is that I own one mason jar that previously was used as a cup for cold beverages because I own almost exclusively coffee mugs and I have zero twine.  A girl can dream.    

Obviously, you can expect many more nut butters coming your way in the coming weeks.  Almond butter?  Heck yeah!  Cashew Butter?  Sure!  Hazelnut Chocolate Butter?  You betcha!  Macadamia Nut Butter?  I'm sorry, but no, macadamia nuts are expensive.

If someone is willing to fund the Macadamia Nut Butter then I will gladly make it.  I will accept cash or money order.  My estimate is $2,573.  It's a rough estimate obviously, including the price of twine.  We can talk numbers later.  

Here's the recipe!  

Ingredients: 
16 oz dry roasted salt peanuts
2 tsp cinnamon (optional) 

Instructions: 
1.  Place peanuts in the food processor and begin processing.  The process will happen in stages: crushed, paste, "dough-like" ball, then peanut butter.  Some recipes estimate about a 5 minute processing time but it took me about 2 minutes.  If your food processor gets too hot, stop for a few minutes and begin again when it's cooled.    
2.  When you've reached the final stage, process for about 1 additional minute to reach smooth consistency.  If using cinnamon, you can add it at this stage to incorporate.  
3.  Pour into a well sealed container and store in the fridge for a thick consistency.  Leaving at room temperature should yield a slightly runnier peanut butter.   Eat with a spoon.     

Notes
**I'm no food safety expert but I would expect that this peanut butter will keep in the fridge for a few weeks.  If stored at room temperature, I'd recommend about one week.

**The cinnamon flavor seems to intensify once the peanut butter sits in the fridge for a few hours.  It may seem meek upon first taste from the food processor but allow the peanut butter to sit and you should notice the flavor.   



Recipe from Averie Cooks

Monster Cookies

Boy oh boy.  What do you do when you're sitting in front of your computer, fingers on the keys, but nothing to say?  I'm ready to type guys, I just don't know what to say.  Obviously, I can talk about Monster Cookies.  That seems too easy though, right?    

I know my dedicated fans have come to expect thoughtful prose from my blog.  It's a lot of pressure for someone of my genius and my infinite wisdom.  Producing poignant and honest writing every week can be a struggle.  Especially when I couldn't figure out why Emily kept around John "The Wolf" on The Bachelorette for so long.  I mean, that guy didn't say more than two words for weeks and got a free trip through Europe.  How can I write when I feel so conflicted?      

But here we are readers.  Talking about Monster Cookies and Rose Ceremonies.  I feel like this blog post got away from me...  Let's bring it back home to cookies.  Monster Cookies.  Apparently Monster Cookies are a "thing" that exist amongst the general public.  So I was reading through some recipes online and readers left comments about the use of flour in these cookies.  There was outrage I say, outrage!  I've learned flour is not allowed in Monster Cookies.  Who knew?!  I guess everyone except me, it would seem.

I suppose it makes sense since these cookies have just about everything else in them.  And it's really wonderful because you can swap in or out just about anything you prefer.  Chopped peanuts?  Sure!  Reese's Pieces?  Why not?!  Toffee bits?  Go for it!  Not to mention (actually I'm about to mention) that this recipe makes a TON of cookies.  For "monster" appetites.  That joke was as painful for me as it was for you.  

Here's the recipe!

Ingredients

• 3 eggs
• 1 1/4 cups packed light brown sugar
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 12-ounce jar creamy peanut butter
• 1 stick butter, softened
• 1/2 cup M&M's
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup Rice Krispies
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 4 1/2 cups quick-cooking oatmeal (not instant)

Directions

1.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Line cookie sheets with parchment paper or nonstick baking mats or spray with cooking spray.

2.  In a very large mixing bowl, combine eggs and both sugars. Mix well. Add the salt, vanilla, peanut butter, and butter, mixing well again. Stir in M&M's and chocolate chips.  Add baking soda, and oatmeal and Rice Krispies, stirring gently not to crush the Krispies.  

3.  Drop by tablespoons 2 inches apart (the dough will be somewhat sticky and it will spread and flatten) onto the prepared cookie sheets.  Bake for 8 to 10 minutes.  Let stand for about 3 minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool. 

Enjoy!

Recipe adapted slightly from Paula Deen/Food Network