No Knead Bread

Can you smell the bread through your computer screen?  I'm wafting the scent your way.  It's magnificent.

This bread made be no-knead but I do need.  Ba-zing!

Remember when I resolved to make more bread in 2013?  Welp, I did it.  Boy did I do it.  I faced my fears with a defiant fist in the air and I dominated this bread.

I think it's because carbs just call to me.  I'm meant to coexist with carbs.  It's the cross that I bear.

What immediately drew me to this recipe was the "no-knead" aspect.  Being that yeast is finicky and proper kneading can sometimes make or break a loaf of bread, I was looking for a shortcut wherever I could get one.  At first, I thought maybe I was taking the easy way out.  I wanted to tackle bread so was this recipe a cop out?  

But then I thought, "No, I am a genius and this bread is amazing."  It was like sick torture waiting for the loaf to cool before slicing.  Actually, I almost skipped the knife entirely and just sunk my teeth in like a rabid animal.  Almost.  

I did what any sane person would do with bread fresh outta the oven.  I dunked it in warm marinara sauce for lunch.  And dinner.  And snack.  And second dinner.  And oh my god I ate a whole loaf of bread.  

Here's the recipe!  

Ingredients: 
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon active dry yeast
1 3/4 teaspoon salt
extra flour (for dusting)

Instructions: 

1.  In a large bowl whisk together flour, salt, and yeast.  Add water and mix to combine ingredients, about 30 seconds to 1 minute.  The dough may seem too dry at first but it should come together as a sticky, shaggy ball.  

2.  Cover the bowl in plastic wrap and allow the dough to rise 12-18 hours (yes, hours).  I put my bowl in an OFF oven overnight for a draft-free, warm place.  

3.  Once the dough has risen, preheat the oven to 450 degrees.  Place an empty dutch oven (or large oven-safe pot and lid) in the oven to preheat.  **see note below

4.  While the oven and pot preheat, turn the dough onto a heavily floured surface (the dough will be sticky) and shape it into a ball.  Cover with plastic wrap and let the dough sit for 30 mins while the oven preheats.  

5.  Carefully remove the pot from the oven and place the ball in the pot, seam side down.  Place the lid on the pot and return to oven.  Bake for 30-35 or until loaf is well browned and crusty.  Cool completely before slicing.  

Enjoy!  

Notes:  

**I don't own a dutch oven or a pot that's oven safe to 450 degrees.  Instead, I used a Pyrex pie dish and an upturned steel bowl as a "lid."  Improvise if you have to but it's important to have a lid to allow the loaf to steam while baking.  

Recipe from Simply So Good.  

Strawberry Banana Bread

So I have this reusable plastic cup I use every morning at work to make iced coffee.  It's got colorful swirly-doos on the sides, an orange plastic lid and even a reusable matching orange straw.  

And one morning last week,  I'm just minding my own business, about to make iced coffee when I realized I needed to run a quick errand.  So I placed my clean empty cup on a table in the office kitchen, ran an errand for about 10 minutes and came back to the kitchen.  I went to my cup on the table and, hold on to your seats America, SOMEONE STOLE MY STRAW.  The perp kindly left my cup and lid but took my orange straw.     

First of all, ew.  Let's be real, what kind of functioning member of society is comfortable with stealing and using a complete stranger's reusable straw?  I could be diseased, for all they know (the doctor said it's not contagious though).  Heck, I sometimes get grossed out by the thought of using the same plastic straw everyday and it's my own germs!

Having seen more Law and Order SVU than any person should ever see, I used my knowledge to begin my investigation.  I actually liken my approach to that of a drug-sniffing dog more than that of Benson and Stabler but I had to go with my instincts.  I decided to focus my vision only on the color orange and begin scouring the office.  

I was ready for an uphill battle.  I didn't care if it took all day, I was determined to find my straw that was probably valued at about 50 cents.  I stepped a foot outside the kitchen and, oh, wait, there it is.  Sitting on a coworker's desk.  Just sittin' there.  My stolen straw.  And what did I do?  I didn't say a word.  I felt bad about possibly embarrassing the thief.  I didn't want to offend them by suggesting they stole my orange straw which I know they did with absolute certainty.  What I'm saying is, I have mental issues.  Obviously, I don't want to use the straw again.  That's gross.  I think I may steal it back just to throw it away.  Again, mental issues.  

As you can guess, this has nothing to do with Strawberry Banana Bread.  I just needed to get that off my chest and you, dear reader, had no choice but the read it.  You're welcome.  

Ok back to baked goods.  Let's talk about strawberries, bananas, brown butter and sugar.  Yeah.  'Nuff said.  

Here's the recipe!  

Ingredients
6 oz unsalted butter, melted and browned, totaling about 1/2 cup (instructions to brown butter below)
2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cinnamon
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup buttermilk
about 3 medium bananas, mashed
1/2 cup diced strawberries (plus 1 strawberry thinly sliced for the top)
3/4 cup sliced almonds
3/4 cup mini chocolate chips

Instructions:
1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease and flour a 9x5 inch loaf pan.

2.  In a large pot, melt butter over medium-low heat.  It will melt, then foam, then turn clear-ish golden, and then begin to brown.  I begin swirling the pot when the foaming ends and keep a close eye on the bits that form at the bottom of the pan.  The butter should begin to take on a nutty aroma and the bits settling at the bottom will turn brown.  When you notice this, immediately take the butter off the heat and set aside to cool. 

3.  In a large bowl whisk flour, sugar, baking soda, salt and cinnamon.  

4.  In a separate bowl, whisk wet ingredients: bananas, eggs, vanilla extract, buttermilk, cooled browned butter and mashed bananas.  

5.  Add wet ingredients to dry.  Combine completely and be sure to scrape the bottom of the bowl to catch any dry flour.  Fold in diced strawberries, almonds and chocolate chips.  Do not overmix.  

6.  Pour batter into prepared pan and top with sliced strawberries.  Bake for 50 mins to 1 hr, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.  Remove from oven and allow to rest on a wire rack for 15 minutes before removing from the pan and cooling completely on the rack.  

7.  Slice and enjoy!  

Recipe adapted slightly from Joy the Baker

Soft Pretzels

It's real guys.  It's really real.  I successfully used yeast!  Someone send me an award or a medal.  I should retire from baking because I've reached my personal best.  

My exploits with yeast in the past have been less than successful.  Mostly, I made a loaf of wheat bread that somehow resembled the texture of a very crumbly pound cake.  I don't even know how that's possible.  I somehow defied the laws of science.  So like any normal person, I decided yeast was impossible to work with, I avoided it at all costs, and didn't try another yeast recipe for two years.  I'm so normal.  

But when I saw this recipe, it just spoke to me.  It said "You will not regret this.  I taste really good with cheese."  And I've never known a pretzel to lie to me.  So I went for it!

And my goodness, it was the best decision I've made in a long time.  This recipe is simple, straight-forward and fun!  I genuinely enjoyed every moment in the kitchen and while these take a bit longer to pull together than, say, a quick-bread, the results are worth every minute.  Trust me.  Trust the yeast.  Trust the pretzel.  

Here's the recipe!  

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups warm water (110-115 degrees F)
1 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp kosher salt
1 package active dry yeast
22 oz all purpose flour (about 4 1/2 cups)
1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted 
vegetable oil, for the pan
2/3 cup baking soda
10 cups water (for boiling)
1 egg, beaten with 1 Tbsp water (for eggwash)
Toppings of your choice (sea salt, "everything," cinnamon and sugar, etc.) 

Instructions:
1.  Combine water, sugar and salt in a medium bowl (I used the bowl for the stand mixer) and sprinkle yeast on top.  Allow to sit for 5 minutes or until it begins to foam.  
2.  Using a dough hook (or just a wooden spoon) add the flour and butter and mix until well combined.  
3.  Turn to medium speed on mixer (or turn dough onto a floured surface) to knead dough, about 4-5 minutes.  Remove the dough from the bowl, clean bowl, and oil it well with vegetable oil.  Return dough to bowl and cover with plastic wrap.  Allow to sit in a warm place approximately 50-55 minutes, until doubled in size.  
4.  When dough has risen, preheat oven to 450 degrees F.  Line 2 sheets with parchment paper and lightly oil with vegetable oil.  Set aside.  Bring 10 cups of water and baking soda to a rolling boil in a large saucepan or roasting pan.  
5.  Turn dough onto lightly oiled surface and divide dough into 8 equal pieces.  Roll each piece into a 24 inch rope.  To form the pretzel shape, make a U shape, hold the ends of the rope, cross them over each other, and press into the bottom center of the U-shape.  For pictures on this, The Baker Chick has great instructions.  Place formed pretzels on parchment-lined baking sheets.  
6.  One by one, place the pretzels in the boiling water for about 30 seconds apiece.  Gently remove from the water using a wide spatula and place back onto baking sheet.  Brush with egg wash and add toppings of your choice.  Continue this with each pretzel and then bake for 12-14 minutes, until golden brown.  Allow to cool slightly before eating to your heart's content.  

Tips:
**The Baker Chick recommends warming your oven to 200 degrees F while you prepare the dough, turn the oven off, then allow dough to rise in warmed oven.  I tried this and it worked like a charm!
**These are best eaten fresh so I'd recommend preparing them the day you intend to serve them.  If time is an issue, you can prepare the dough, allow to rise, then refrigerate the dough overnight before forming, boiling and baking the pretzels the next day.  

Enjoy!

Recipe from Baker Chick